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Love begs to be romanticized by definition, but that's a ruse. More »

intangible method

A digital fairy tale about a young woman who realizes that first person video footage from her own life is being posted to YouTube - before the events actually occur in real life. More »


This piece was part of a Scrytch project wherein DMF offered up the opening phrase, “They found teeth in my grandmother’s heart,” and left it to each individual scrytcher to come up with tales to accompany this opening. This story is my submission. More »

Short Attention Span Fiction

Herein you will find a selection of short short stories, guaranteed to occupy very little of your physical time. Messages of a bizarre, ethereal, occasionally disturbing nature are to be found here: images that dance a short while in your frontal lobes and then dissipate before any permanent damage is done. More »


My column for Erowid on psychoactive-related topics: a mix of slapstick, satire, and occasionally serious explorations of how individuals and culture react to the myriad of experiences offered by psychoactives. More »

The Strange Tale Of Timothy Leary's Head

Many people do not realize that after Timothy Leary’s “death” in 1996, Leary’s body was spirited away by freedom-loving entities from a parallel dimension, but his head was captured and subjected to a massive array of insidious CIA experiments before it escaped in 2001. His head is now the picture of vicious psychedelic insanity, suspended by little rockets where its neck once was. More »

Mounting The Psychedelic PR Campaign In Earnest

Some may not recall the days before psychedelic substance action figures were a staple in every young child's toybox... but I was there when the craze began. More »

Ari Fleischer Can Kiss My Ass

There was a time when Ari "Would Someone Please Get This Broom Handle Out Of My Ass?" Fleischer needed to be taught a lesson... and who better than yours truly to deliver the message? More »


An immortal, nano-powered astronaut hurtles through space with no guidance system, and slowly sinks into a world of memory more real than his actual escape pod. More »

The Phone Call

The InfiniTek consumer banking division faces off against a certain Hollywood Smith of Davenport, Iowa, over the little matter of a single misplaced penny. More »

Good News & Bad News

Normally when someone says, "We've got some good news and some bad news," my immediate response is to sucker punch the person with the news, steal their wallet, tie them up with steel safety cables and hang them from a telephone pole. However, I was out of safety cables when I heard it this time. More »

Is You In, Or Is You Isn't

I remember the day I met Special Agent James Kent, publisher of Trip, as clearly as I remember the day I took my first bath in liquid LSD. The experiences were remarkably similar, both leaving me emotionally and psychically exhausted, with strange bruises all over my body, and an unexplainable bleeding from directly behind my ears. More »

Contract Issues

During the year 2002, I became enamored of using the notion of a “tri-state killing spree” as a way to interrupt threads on the Scrytch list and generally make an annoyance of myself. No opportunity to use “tri-state killing spree” as a punch line or an inappropriate answer was missed, and eventually, the members of the list were forced to act. More »

Then there was the time

Did I ever tell you about the time I saved my wife JenMoon from an evil horde of cyborg pirates from the future? More »

private chat

Witness the ages-old saga of long distance love, magnified by the modern "convenience" of electronic communication. More »


A recovered sliver of text from the long-lost Capture Book. Beware the devouring mechanisms, the surprising appearance of Holokaustos and Devotos, and the Precision of Ecstasy! More »

Robinson Crusoe 2012

A victim of War: The Final Battle crashes on a deserted island, only to learn that there is no escape from the clutches of his enemies - for in the end, FAST FOOD will come to us all. More »

Outer Puzzles In Love Space

At the age of twelve, the twins began dreaming together, sharing the same dreamspace, and this is where their family history first makes itself known. One of the twins, Melody, has always been excessively magnetic, thoroughly charming, dangerously naive; the other, Laurel, has always been more pragmatic, slightly ruthless, generously vindictive. The shared dreams presaged the drugs, of course, and the family's latent insanity chose opportune moments to surface. More »


Even in the earliest days of the Internet, falling in love with the wrong complete stranger via email could bring about the collapse of civilization. More »

big ol' jet airliner

So then I got the idea that we should start a Steve Miller cover band, because, you know, who doesn't love Steve. (Aside from assholes, I mean.) It did not work out as I expected. More »

i stood with those gravities and marveled at the sunrise

I stood with those Gravities and marveled at the times we'd had, felt pangs of nostalgia for the things we would do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. More »


After nine years of research into incredibly dangerous substances, Dr. Canton Levery finally fled InfiniTek's headquarters in East Berlin and escaped to America. His tales of current drug research are a chilling reminder that InfiniTek remains the undisputed corporate menace of our time (although rumors that InfiniTek began as a tool for disseminating alien technology throughout the world economy are of course entirely unfounded). More »

FringeWare Review (20)12

An entire issue of one of the favorite underground magazines from the mid-'90s, FringeWare Review, as guest edited by yours truly and featuring the work of the Gravity collective. More »

Random Access

My weekly column in my college newspaper, senior year: "There is much entertainment and excitement to be gleaned from the adventures of Scotto, his friend Laurel, and her cousin Crank Boy, along with all their pals: the Lord of all Evil Satan, the archangel Gabriel, Beerbelly the Invisible Clown, Old Mad King Ludwig, and celebrities of all stripes, including Paul McCartney, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and of course, Gordon Jump." More »

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