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Thon! (or Attack of the Clones!)

Madeleine Kahn

by Scotto
MAXWELL: And now ladies and gentlemen, we’ve come to a very special part of the program. This next guest has been appearing on our telethon for years and years without fail. She never misses a single telethon, because she knows how important it is to continue fighting Intellectual Dystrophy, no matter the cost. And so, fresh from one of the many celebrity cemeteries just outside of Los Angeles, here she is, folks – Madeleine Kahn!

(EVAN enters dragging the CORPSE OF MADELEINE KAHN, which he dumps center stage. The CORPSE remains motionless. A looooooooong uncomfortable pause follows. Lights come back up on MAXWELL as EVAN drags the corpse back offstage.)

MAXWELL: (once again wiping tears away from his eyes from laughing so hard) There she was, ladies and gentlemen, ZANY AS EVER! Madeleine Kahn! (sleazy) Hey buddy, show Ms. Kahn back to my dressing room, eh, there, pal? We’re heading into our finale, folks! Coming up, a look at the Big Total on the Big Scoreboard, right after this commercial break.

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