scotto.org
Stories Scripts Videos Music Non-Fiction Books Blog

Scripts




The Short Play Brigade

Don't Fuck With Me

(JERK stands center.  BYSTANDER #1 enters SR.)
JERK: (screaming) Hey, don't fuck with me, you piece of shit mother fucker!
BYSTANDER #1: (stops, extremely startled) What?
JERK: Oh... oh, I'm sorry.  I thought you were someone else.  I'm sorry.
(BYSTANDER #1 exits in a rush.  A pause.  BYSTANDER #2 enters from SR.)
JERK: (screaming) Hey, don't fuck with me, you piece of shit mother fucker!
BYSTANDER #2: (stops, very disturbed) Pardon me?
JERK: Oh... oh man, you know what?  I'm sorry.  I... I thought you were someone else.  I'm really sorry.
(BYSTANDER #2 exits hurriedly.  BYSTANDER #3 enters SR.)
JERK: (screaming) Hey, don't fuck with me, you piece of shit mother fucker!
BYSTANDER #3: Who, me?
JERK: Oh, I'm sorry.  I thought you were someone else.
(BYSTANDER #3 bursts into tears and rushes off.  CURIOUS BYSTANDER enters SR and approaches JERK.)
CURIOUS BYSTANDER: Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you've screamed at every single passerby.  Who exactly are you mistaking them for?
JERK: No one.  I just love shouting that at people!
(JERK & CURIOUS BYSTANDER turn to the audience, do a vaudeville take.)
JERK & CURIOUS BYSTANDER: Ba dum bum!



You must be logged-in to post comments.
About This Site
Log in / create account
Scotto.org FAQ

Scotto's Web Trail
Tumblr
Soundcloud
Twitter
YouTube


Creative Commons License

This site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Contact Scotto
Leave a comment in a post! Or better:
Email scotto.moore (at) yahoo.com!

Copyright Scotto.org until 2087