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The Short Play Brigade

The Time Is

(MAN approaches KID)
MAN: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?
KID: Naw, sorry man, I don't carry a watch.
MAN: Oh, okay.  Hey, have you got a light?
KID: Naw, man, I don't smoke, man, sorry.
MAN: Right, okay.  Say, can you tell me how to get to Jackson Avenue?
KID: Oh, you know what?  I don't live in this neighborhood.  I got no idea where Jackson Avenue is.
MAN: Hmm, right, okay.  Hey, where can I get a good pasta dinner in this town?
KID: Hey, sorry, dude, I don't eat pasta.
MAN: Really?
KID: Yeah, man, I'm allergic to noodles.
MAN: Wow, that's too bad.  So... if I wanted to buy drugs in this town, where would I go?
KID: Dude, this whole town is dry right now, man.
MAN: Oh, gee, I was really hoping to find some drugs.
KID: Yeah, normally there's all kinds of drugs, but right now...
MAN: That's too bad.  Say look, I was wondering, is there anywhere around here I can get myself tied up and pissed on?
KID: Wow, you know... my mother does that...
MAN: Really?
KID: Yeah, but she's in Cleveland right now.
MAN: Oh, no shit?
KID: No shit, man.
MAN: Wow.
KID: Tough break.
MAN: Yeah.
MAN: Where the fuck am I anyways?
KID: I got no idea, man.
MAN: Right, right.

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