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Other Things, Besides Dance, You Might Consider Doing Like No One's Watching

1. Preface every email you send with the salutation "GREETINGS, CAPITALIST SWINE!" like no one's watching.

2. Write that "what if the characters from Grey's Anatomy were Marxist revolutionaries" fan fiction you always wanted to see in the world like no one's watching.

3. Rage quit Twitter with a multi-threaded rant about Jack's right wing sympathies, delete your Facebook account because Mark won't admit his platform has been irreversibly corrupted, and in the deafening silence that follows, realize your faith in American democracy is still not restored like no one's watching.

4. After briefly flirting with socialism, become a full-fledged anarchist in support of radical self-organization as the only sane model of humanely governing a population and fairly distributing its wealth, despite enjoying the holidays every year with your plutocratic grandparents who paid for your liberal arts education like no one's watching.

5. Abandon the ineluctable faith in God you were raised with and replace it with a quasi-mystical, ontologically vague belief system that doesn’t recognize a pure divine source, and realize every night as you go to sleep that are you probably going to Hell for this blasphemy like no one's watching.

6. Watch Marvel Cinematic Universe films without staying for the mid or end credits scenes like no one's watching.

7. Ultimately commit to a path of relaxing nihilism that manifests as a good-humored, self-aware form of despair, recognizing that society at large has already collapsed past the point of no return but we simply haven't felt all the inescapable shock waves to come, so you may as well kick back and watch civilization burn with a knowing smile like no one's watching.

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