In a dream within a dream, we became aware that we were locked in a heavily enchanted carnivale. (1/9)

We formed two parades, traipsing in opposite directions, such that each revolution brought us repeatedly back into contact with certain episodes. (2/9)

In some, I met long-lost friends and had wild times, in others I faced charged sparring matches and heated arguments, still others continually tried to convince me I was capable of waking up. (3/9)

A gleaming multi-faceted crystal held us all in thrall, glistening as it rotated, emanating the scenes that trapped and propelled us. (4/9)

In one of these scenes I passed a woman JT who was not awake enough to recognize me, but we'd been lovers long ago. (5/9)

And so I joined, became the leader of a resistance movement, meant to smash the crystal at the risk of angering the entity living within. (6/9)

We celebrated our release with wild abandonment, unmoored for the first time in perhaps eons. (7/9)

JT walked past me, did not recognize me, and I realized to my shame we'd only been passing friends in our youth. (8/9)

I realized as the enchantment faded that I would search for a long time to encapsulate a word for "a love deep enough to fight for, proven illusory by the very act of fighting for it." (9/9)

August 8, 2019