To: Gravity
From: THE INNER GORILLA
Subject: a monkey's search for wuv (first post - test ping)

Under what arcane, irresponsible circumstances are new members admitted to the inner sanctum of this elevated (sic) community? THE INNER GORILLA seeks asylum from the World As We Know It. THE INNER GORILLA can remain no more in the world of financial transactions and marketing concerns. THE INNER GORILLA must shed its grotesque and terrible skin and escape into your virtual hot tub.

"I WILL find you, I WILL!"

Into the everything, and through the evergreen, and through the everlasting light -- I come with a message of "time, love and tenderness -- m. bolton" to soothe your "achy breaky hearts -- b.r.cyrus." You have only to PING me with a response and I will know that my words are reaching their onliest destination. "Hello... is there anybody in there... just nod if you can hear me... --p. floyd" And also, "I want you... I want you so bad, it's driving me mad, it's driving me mad -- t. beatles."

As THE INNER GORILLA has said:

"Some day soon THE INNER GORILLA will frolic and dance a tuneful jig within the circle of yer luv. Some day soon THE INNER GORILLA will build its own addition to the fabled Gravity Mythos -- THE INNER GORILLA'S BIG OLD FUNKY HOUSE featuring THE INNER GORILLA! Some day soon THE INNER GORILLA's flesh will meet the flesh of those exciting and vigorous voices of Gravity which to this day remain only a rumor, only a mystery just outside the boundaries of THE INNER GORILLA's perception. Yes, some day soon, the doors to Chapel Perilous will swing WIDE OPEN and THE INNER GORILLA will come prancing into your virtual living room, bananas in one hand and a box of Busch Light in the other! Those will be the days of wine and roses, of chocolate and Play-Doh, of Ephedrine and opium, and just when it looks like Winnie the Pooh is about to pop up on the big screen, THE INNER GORILLA will tear that little sissy's GREEDY LITTLE HEAD off and dance on his honey smeared innards!

"That's when you'll know that THE INNER GORILLA has arrived!"

THE INNER GORILLA is no blissed out New Age cuddle monkey, this much is for certain. THE INNER GORILLA comes neither from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom of Throbbing Technomonkeys nor from America's Funniest Home Head Injuries and Near Fatal Accidents. THE INNER GORILLA comes from that place in space where time sheds its skin and gets to the center of the Tootsie Pop in LESS THAN THREE LICKS. This message is not reaching you in error, nor in absentia, nor in a hundred words or less -- instead, this message is crawling silently down your throat and carving THE INNER GORILLA's initials on your spleen. Someday THE INNER GORILLA will join your secret circle on the inside, but for today, THE INNER GORILLA remains alone, with only 58 episodes of THE MONKEES to keep it company.

As THE INNER GORILLA has said:

"Til then, THE INNER GORILLA remains respectfully on the fringes of your fantastic underground society. THE INNER GORILLA is left alone in the darkness of corporate malignance and bitter, bitter apathy, as THE INNER INBOX remains virtually empty. 'When next you see THE INNER GORILLA, shield your eyes -- or you too will be forced to dance! -- this guy I know.'"

If you saw this message, let me know.

Takin' the last train to Gravityland,
THE INNER GORILLA