We were standing at the train station, and she said, "Do you ever think about pushing someone in front of the train, you know, when you're standing here, bored, and your mind wanders, and you just think, what would it be like to just shove someone right down there onto the track just before the train comes?" Little did she realize, of course, that I have a rule about people who ask stupid shit like that; and so I was forced to shove her onto the track just before the train came. It was just like that time my grandmother asked me if I ever wondered what falling off a building would feel like ("I dunno, grammy, but if I see you in the afterlife, you can let me know" before she fell 23 stories and exploded against the pavement), or that time my friend Sam asked if I'd ever wondered what it felt like to have my intestines squeezed in a vice clamp (uh huh, Sam, I wonder that all the fucking time, you bleeding pig).