Apparently I couldn't be bothered to update this site since August 2013. OMFG I'm so, so sorry. Please know that I understand you people have been waiting patiently. And by "you people" I mean "search bots". BUT SERIOUSLY, here's a quick tour of what I got up to during that long dark web-site-ignoring phase.

ITEM: I wrote & directed a well received mainstage play at Annex in the summer 2014 slot, a farcical romantic comedy called Balconies. The script is now posted for your convenience.

ITEM: My long time singing partner Brian Kinyon and I performed in the November 2013 edition of Annex's "Spin The Bottle - 60 Seconds Max". Our entry was recorded for your enjoyment and included below for your convenience:

ITEM: I wrote a couple plays for the January 2014 edition of the 14/48 Festival: the romantic Finally Got You and the sinister All Must Pay The Price, both posted for your convenience.

ITEM: I wrote an absurdist comic monologue about Burning Man for my solo performer friend Yana Kesala's show 12 Tongues and posted it for your convenience.

ITEM: I wrote a pair of one minute comedies for the Seattle premiere of the One Minute Play Festival: Legal and Cliffhanger, now handily posted for your very brief convenience.

ITEM: Our Kickstarter campaign & additional fundraising for Seasons Two and Three of The Coffee Table succeeded, and we shot both seasons concurrently, early in 2014. You can see a whole mess of behind the scenes photos from principal photography via this extremely convenient Flickr gallery. Meanwhile, in August 2014, the first ten episodes of Season One screened as an official selection at Gen Con's Sci-Fi & Fantasy Film Festival LIKE A WEB SERIES BOSS, for the ten people who came in and watched it.

ITEM: Did you know? I conveniently post music and videos 3-5 times a week at my Tumblr blog, Much Preferred Customers. (Is it redundant to say Tumblr blog? Is it just a Tumblr? Is it still a Tumble-log? Which sounds like lumberjack jargon?) Anyway, I audition gallons of new music and bring only the best to your Tumblr feed or your feed reader of choice. Or you can follow me on Twitter to get the same updates. Did I mention how convenient this arrangement is for you?

ITEM: For some reason, I originally failed to post the book and lyrics for the musical I created with Robertson Witmer, A Mouse Who Knows Me. That oversight has been corrected; book and lyrics are now posted in one convenient PDF, just the way you like it.

ITEM: Someone reminded me that videos exist of our renegade Burning Man production DJ Christ Superstar, and those videos were conveniently added to my page about the show.

ITEM: A friend tried to bait me on a forum by posting the remix video for "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows" with the subject line "for Scotto". Because I am a complete professional who never lashes out emotionally when his musical integrity is challenged, I countered with a link to the seamless ten hour loop of "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows", followed by the seamless one hour loop of Toto's "Africa", followed (of course) by the seamless ten hour loop of Lionel Richie's "All Night Long (All Night)". But my escalation reached its pinnacle when I drunkenly recorded a mashup of all these songs, SO VERY VERY CONVENIENTLY POSTED HERE FOR YOUR TOTAL & COMPLETE LISTENING PLEASURE:

So yeah - liberal arts degree, totally nailing it.

FUTURE ITEMS: Annex will be producing my next play in the spring of 2015, an off night called H.P. Lovecraft: Stand-Up Comedian! Official blurb:

Instead of expressing his terrifying vision of malevolent, eldritch gods via horror stories in the early twentieth century, H.P. ("Howie" to his friends) Lovecraft is alive in the present day - expressing his terrifying vision via stand-up comedy, and developing a cult following (in the form of an actual cult). But as Howie's fame grows, an ancient evil stirs beneath the sea. Can Howie pull off one last sold-out gig before the human race is destroyed?

I will be making my proper return to the stage after many years, playing Howie Lovecraft. K. Brian Neel is directing, although he's stuck with me as his lead actor so you can't blame that choice on him. Which is fine, I'm really kind of an expert at being blamed. That's just what happens to misunderstood geniuses. And me for some reason.

I might also be writing a new mainstage play for a different local theatre company, but it's far from settled so stay tuned for updates.

Season Two of The Coffee Table might be out before the end of 2014, and Season Three is targeted for spring of 2015. Season Three concludes the story, and I don't intend to produce another web series after this one, so plan accordingly to ENJOY THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ALL TWENTY PRECIOUS EPISODES WHEN WE RELEASE THEM ONTO THESE UNSUSPECTING INTERNETS.

I'll probably try to do something for this November's "Spin The Bottle - 60 Seconds Max" edition, but I don't have an idea yet. I know what you're thinking, but unfortunately, "Pink And Fluffy Africa (All Night)" is 1:21 in length, and there's no radio edit because it's perfect as is, people.

In personal news, I ran the Tough Mudder for the first time today; enjoy the obligatory post-race selfie, because convenient. GOODBYE INTERNETS.

9/28/2014